Empty Nest Olympics Seconda Parte - E126

Clancy Denton (00:00)
On this week's episode, Empty Nest Olympics, Secunda Park Day.

Rick Denton (00:06)
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Loud Quiet. Got something exciting to share with y'all on March 4th at 7 p.m. Central time here in the U.S. We are going to be going live. We'll start with a topic and then really it's going to be open Q &A after that. And so if you want to get some real time interaction, let's all talk about this empty nest world together. That will be March 4th at 7 p.m.

central time here in the U.S.

Clancy Denton (00:37)
And if you guys have suggestions or ideas of a topic, shoot us that, you know, in the Facebook group. If not, we have plenty that we can come up with. So we will pick one out and go from there. Something new that we're going to start trying. But today we thought we'd talk about something related to the Olympics. We did this two years ago. After the Summer Olympics, we did an empty nester Olympic

check in and it's actually a chapter in the book and so we have been watching some of the Winter Olympics. I find myself, well I don't know, maybe I do watch as much. I don't feel like I've been as focused on it.

Rick Denton (01:25)
watching as much as you did a couple years ago. Absolutely not. No, this is one that we have kind of, we've dabbled in it and then we've dabbled out of it. One thing that's different this year, and I know that this will be released after the closing ceremony, so we're kind of giving you some bonus Olympics coverage here, is even NBC has said that their ratings have gone through the roof this year. And I think a lot of it is actually the availability of streaming.

Clancy Denton (01:28)
Yeah, probably not.

Rick Denton (01:51)
during the day that you can see any event you want at any time. And while that may have been there a little bit, when you're talking about a European time zone during the day, people are probably enjoying and consuming some of their favorite events while it's happening real time.

Clancy Denton (02:05)
And that brings up another point is that I see the results during the day. And so I'm like, I already know what happened. So do I want to sit here and watch it now? We did last night watch the ice skating because I already knew what had happened. both, I think, knew. Last night. Yeah, we knew what had happened, but we wanted to see why it happened.

Rick Denton (02:26)
And to see the reaction, like to some degree, not maybe the result was known, but not how people reacted and just because so much of the Olympics are emotion, which I think is why we decided that empty nest Olympics was something that we wanted to grant medals to each other. Well, not to each other, to ourselves as a couple. And I think we'd encourage y'all the same way. This is a great conversation to have with the person you're sharing the empty nest with. Where do y'all?

Where do you rank yourselves on these events?

Clancy Denton (02:57)
And did, we went back and did the same categories that we did years ago. Okay, the first one is maintaining and making new friends.

Rick Denton (03:01)
And we'll tell you how we did it.

And so two years ago, you granted yourself the gold and I granted myself the silver in this category.

Clancy Denton (03:16)
That's

how.

Rick Denton (03:19)
Wait, I want you to say that again. I don't think I said it quite well. was so something that had happened right about that timeframe is we had just started a new life group and I think we even comment it's kind of a slow start, but we've got this new thing. And so I think that may have been why I was thinking silver is that, know, it's still, especially as a guy, I'm not great about seeking new friendships and that aspect of it. And you've talked about

Clancy Denton (03:22)
Like that.

Rick Denton (03:49)
The gold, right, was you've got your group of friends, especially the cheer moms that have maintained that relationship with you throughout the years, that a gold medal for Clancy made a lot of sense.

Clancy Denton (04:01)
Yeah. And, you know, that was maintaining friendships, making new friendships. Yes, was talking about the life group and that life group has gone through many changes, but the group that we have now, two years later is very strong and very tight. And yes, we, I would call us all

friends. So I would say, yes, we have achieved a goal in that area. And I would also say even I was even thinking about things like going to pod fest and going to empowered. We've also extended our reach of making new friends that, you now you can stay in touch with these people on Facebook and on

Zoom calls and those kind of things. So I feel like we have put ourselves out there. We're, trying to get a couple of other groups started that kind of got put on hold that we need to now revisit. but I feel like we, know, something that we were very nervous and scared about going into the empty nest. feel like we have done a pretty good job so far.

Rick Denton (05:27)
Okay, this is where you almost need multiple events on this one. And that is, you're right, like everything you just said, gold. And certainly when you're talking about our taking our business interests and then going into real life conferences and events and building relationships with those people, totally. When I think of deep friendships, I don't know that I'm still at that gold level, right? There are certainly some friendships that have.

been created and there's some friendships that have been cemented and are growing, I think when I compare myself to what I see that you have, it's not all the way there. And so I think it's probably a gold, but there's some competition coming up behind me that I better keep going if I want to maintain that gold level. I may not have nailed the triple Lutz or something like that. Maybe I stumbled or bobbled a bit.

Clancy Denton (06:21)
I'm kind of surprised you're saying that, because I have seen friendships that have.

started and are growing rather quickly.

Rick Denton (06:33)
⁓

I have to I have to agree with that. I think it's you know, it's it's probably unfair but when I Look at the men's event me and you and the women's event Certainly from a volume perspective There's more there. And so that's maybe I'm still giving myself a gold. I just know that As the Olympics keep going forward there's some steep competition if I want to keep that gold medal

Clancy Denton (07:00)
I mean, I'll say I haven't made a lot of new girlfriends. you know, I have just maintained my groups that were already established. Now, yes, I have made some new connections that are very strong, but it's not like it's a huge new friendship group or something. Yeah.

Rick Denton (07:23)
And maybe the spirit of what I'm saying here is more about there's always room to grow. And I think that's where I really am in my head. It's not that I'm saying there's a weakness, but there's always room to grow. Heck, what I did yesterday going and serving with the Minutemen Disaster Response Group, that's likely to turn into relationships and friendships that are there. And I think it just continues to remind us in the empty nest, and something that we'd share with you all the listeners, is inertia kicks in very strongly.

and it's really easy to stay static. It's the choosing to do something new that helps grow in categories in this Olympic event. ⁓

Clancy Denton (08:02)
Well, now that you mentioned that, I want to go to discovering new hobbies because I feel like hobby may not be the right word for that, but I do feel like that is something, you know, what is a hobby? It's something that you're now devoting time to. So, you know, yes, you have now.

Rick Denton (08:19)
Yeah, I like the word interest.

Well, what was our before you since we're starting, yeah, every new hobby.

Clancy Denton (08:27)
Yes,

we were not, we were very poor.

Rick Denton (08:31)
Well,

in fact, the note that I took that we said was we failed to even make the T.

Clancy Denton (08:37)
Yes, we didn't even get to go to the Olympics, think is what we said. We didn't make it to the plane.

Rick Denton (08:42)
There was an asterisk though. it's the asterisk was it looks like that we had created something that would help us be eligible for the next Olympics and we had started the podcast and so. you know what? ourselves a little gold medal there.

Clancy Denton (08:55)
So,

we wrote a book. That's a hobby. But we had it then. I know. We had started the podcast. So now this year I'm saying we wrote a book, okay? That took a lot of time out of finding new hobby.

Rick Denton (09:03)
We failed to make the team.

I would give us gold here, you yay, Pat on the back, that sort of thing. Same kind of thing though, I think there's areas to grow.

Clancy Denton (09:20)
I'm not giving us a gold on this one because no because the things that we talked about we still have not done Pickleball is one Sure, yeah, I mean we still have we have all the stuff to do it. We just haven't done it we talked about going to a Country dance class sometime. Those were two things that we talked about two years ago and still have not done now

Rick Denton (09:26)
And that would be, can, I know what it is. Hanging in the closet.

Clancy Denton (09:49)
Traveling, would say, is one of our hobbies. And yes, we have fulfilled that. This is growing and expanding. That's what I'm saying. We have kept with our old hobbies. But you have expanded into joining a group that does community service.

Rick Denton (09:53)
but not new.

Yeah, and that's true that hobbies and serving and all that sort of thing all weave together. I think what I'd say here is I'm going to direct this actually to you, the listener and viewer, especially those of you in North Texas. If you are pickleball people or if you go out two stepping, would you message us and make us go out with you sometime so that way we can actually have accountability to go play some pickleball?

Clancy Denton (10:31)
And you know, watching you go yesterday and do the thing that you did with the Minutemen group, you know, I had looked at the, we have a group here called Love Packs, and I had looked and I was like, they do something every Thursday at noon or whatever it was. And I was like, you know, I have time, I can do that. And then I forgot. And you know, yesterday when you came home and you said, gosh, it was just nice to.

get away from the house and work and the office for a few hours. And I was like, yeah, we should probably just both do that.

Rick Denton (11:12)
Well, and that's a really important part about discovering new hobbies. It's we joke about pickleball and we joke about going two-stepping and doing those sorts of things. It's also not just the couple discovering new hobbies together. This is a medal event that is both the team event and there are individual medals that are handed out in this one. And I think that's really important in the empty nest is doing both. Because if you're only doing individuals, then that starts to kind of

put a wedge there that you're doing different things. But if you're only doing together, then you're not developing that same sense of self that's so vital in the empty nest as well.

Clancy Denton (11:50)
I do like one thing that we've kind of started doing, it seems like in the past month and it goes kind of along with going back, we're gonna go back now to planning dates and trips. So how did we do two years ago?

Rick Denton (12:05)
So for planning dates and trips, no medal, and then I was disqualified by the judge. I went back and watched that video. I thought we were doing a good job, but I looked at the video and the judge disqualified me because I was not the best at the execution of the

Clancy Denton (12:26)
You planned but didn't execute. You have the ideas.

Rick Denton (12:29)
And was specific.

I'm great at the trips part of it. I really am. But when it came to dates, I think the comment that you were making then, and it's all laughing, but there's a twinge of seriousness in it too, that a lot of our planning was done by you when it came to what are we doing going out, what's the social aspect of it, those kinds of things. And so, yes, the judge actually disqualified me.

Clancy Denton (12:54)
I mean, I don't think that either one of us does trips on their own. I don't remember that you've never surprised me with, we're going here. That's not... And I don't know that I would like that. Now, maybe if you gave me, don't spring it on me like, hey, tomorrow we're going here.

Rick Denton (13:13)
I would do that. would wake you up in the morning and say, I packed your bag.

Clancy Denton (13:17)
go to the airport. Okay. Yeah, that's not happening. There, you'd be disqualified for that again. But I do like, as I was saying, in the past, I'd say month or so, it seems like probably once a week, we have ended up

Rick Denton (13:27)
Well, I haven't done it, so we're safe there.

Clancy Denton (13:40)
needing to run an errand or something, but then we turn it into, let's go to lunch too, and let's do this, you know? And so that, I've enjoyed doing some of that thing, kind of things too. So, ⁓

Rick Denton (13:54)
So what would you meddle us then on planning dates and trips?

Clancy Denton (13:58)
Well, trips, are always, trips I would say we always get a gold medal. All right. now I will say though, our spring is very light. This, which is fine. I'm not complaining about that. We don't have a trip planned for March or we didn't, guess we did just throw Austin in there so that we take Addison to go meet the Austin family. There was a time that we were going somewhere almost every single month.

Rick Denton (14:27)
Yeah, and many times, multiple times per month. And so if trips are that way, what about dates though? Where do you feel we stand on that? Well, and I'll answer it, I asked it, but I'm gonna answer it.

Collectively, I think we do gold on this one, right? We have had very few weekends, if you will, that haven't had some sort of activity, either that's just us or we're doing stuff with friends. I think though that the team dynamic is still leaning heavily towards you and the planning department, but I think there have been other moments where I've brought that in better than I have two years ago.

Clancy Denton (15:07)
So while you were just saying that I was just thinking about this, when's the last time that it's you and I have gone out? Because I feel like it's always been.

us with another couple or us with Taylor and Addison or us with

Rick Denton (15:26)
Well, you know, the answer to that, I think, is when we've spent time when it's just you and me on trips, when we've been away. When, so let's say we go to Arizona and you and I will do an activity together or we'll go to the happy hour together before we go see Teagan or something like that. But when it comes to here.

Clancy Denton (15:47)
Yeah. But see, to me, that's not a date because we're already out there and it's just, there's no one else to do anything with until we go pick her up. I'm not, no, I'm not saying that. That is, I'm not saying that, but you know, we used to always, because this goes back Well, you know why. Stop. Because we've made friends.

Rick Denton (15:57)
very much put on the

Clancy Denton (16:14)
That's what I'm saying! We've come-

Rick Denton (16:17)
So

is the answer don't make friends so that you can still go out together as a couple?

Clancy Denton (16:21)
It used to be that first, you know, a year of empty nesting or whatever it was, six months. It was us going out on Friday night to happy hour. Now we have made more friends and we are now incorporating going out with friends and, and going out with our friends that we've had in the past. So yeah, it's just.

Rick Denton (16:48)
So what are you saying there? you saying we should have fewer friends or or should we just go out more nights?

Clancy Denton (16:55)
I don't know. feel like we go out a lot. We went out Tuesday night. We're going out Friday night.

Rick Denton (17:01)
I know what the next event that we need to talk about is the I'm realizing what a lot of our dates though What we do is we actually stay in because we've gone out with friends. Then we make a drink We sit up at the bar together. We talk together. So the location is not going out but the activity is That kind of couples element to it. I'm not saying that that's

enough. I think that it is good for us to actually go out together. I think though that that's where because we've been doing stuff with people, now we have found ourselves doing our thing together.

Clancy Denton (17:44)
It's kind of gone back to when the kids were little and if you didn't have a sitter that night, you put them to bed and then you start, you have a date at home. And I don't mind that. You know, I don't want to be out. I was going to say, you don't want to be out every night.

Rick Denton (18:00)
Yeah,

I've even said, let's go to like, uh-uh, we're not going out.

Clancy Denton (18:04)
Sure. And you feel the same way. you know, we're going out tonight. You're not going to want to go out tomorrow night.

Rick Denton (18:12)
to say that, but we'll see.

Clancy Denton (18:15)
I'm not gonna wanna go out tomorrow night, so.

Rick Denton (18:17)
So I think we need to move to the next event here. it's because it fits this right here, communicating with each other. And so as that metal event, we

Clancy Denton (18:28)
Everyone just got a good example of that.

Rick Denton (18:30)
Well,

actually, I want to talk about that a little bit because we gave ourselves gold last time. I think if I look back over the last two years, something that I have gotten better about, and it's specifically because you and I are working together, and that is being able to handle disagreements with you. And usually they manifest in sort of creative discussions. Hey, what topic should we do? What are we writing about?

how are we phrasing this? All of those kinds of things that go into creative output. I am very much a people pleaser. I don't like conflict. It's something that I know that I've gotten better at of being able to have that disagreement and not have it be something that is a failure in a people pleasing or some sort of, my gosh, it's conflict. No, it's just a disagreement that we're talking through.

Clancy Denton (19:26)
We're both still here. We haven't gotten divorced and no one is dead. So wow. Well, hey, when you go into business and you're together all the time, things can happen. But yes, I would agree. we are both, I am a people pleaser and I do not like conflict either. We are both very Pisces in that way. And so yes, I...

especially writing the book. And we will at some point do a full episode on some of the behind the scenes of writing the book. know, there were, but there was, you know, there were creative conflicts for sure. And yeah.

Rick Denton (20:06)
don't want to scare everybody off.

You know, we've come up with that term when really it was hey we were having some fights But I love the creative

Clancy Denton (20:18)
Sure.

I mean, we got into a little snippet right before we went to press record on this thing, but we got over it. got over it. mean, and that's the thing. Before, let's say 15 years ago, I don't think that we got over it as quickly as we do now. Now someone's not walking out of the room.

Now we just sit in the room and figure it out before we move on because I think another thing is too now the conflicts are not.

I don't want to say as important, but they're not as heavy as I think sometimes they were. ⁓ What's the word I'm trying?

Rick Denton (21:12)
know

what you're saying, but I don't know that I agree with you. I just think maybe at this exact moment here in February, that's true. But in the empty nest, we've had some healthy conversations that have had serious topics. They are different than the ones that we've had. They don't involve kids as much. They don't involve necessarily like career choices and finances nearly as much as they used to. But

Clancy Denton (21:33)
Here's what I'll say. I think a lot of the conflicts that we have had have come from outside sources and outside events. It hasn't always necessarily been an internal thing. And so I think that's what's made the difference. Before it was usually a family internal, the four of us, something going on. We've had a lot of outside.

Rick Denton (21:46)
Okay.

Clancy Denton (22:03)
things that have caused. And I think that just makes it a little bit because it wasn't necessarily a conflict between you and me. It was a conflict of how do we get through this?

Rick Denton (22:17)
and what are our intents as we go through that. That's an interesting observation. I would need to think on that a bit. It feels right though. And it probably comes from being married for multiple decades. Although it's not that I know everything about you. I learn new things about you all the time, which is ⁓ a delight here in the empty nest.

Clancy Denton (22:39)
Well, and I think too, being in your 50s, you just don't care as much anymore about certain things. So it's a lot easier to just move past than... ⁓

Rick Denton (22:51)
Well, let's go to our last event. And so just to recap everyone, we had maintaining and making friends, discovering new hobbies, planning dates and trips, communicating with each other, and then the final event, dreaming about the future. We gave ourselves world records. Boy, as I read through this, like, man, we really think we're just the best thing ever, but...

Clancy Denton (23:14)
Hey,

we know we sucked at discovering new hobbies and we were not good at making new friends, but now we have gotten better.

Rick Denton (23:18)
And I

Well this one we and I would agree with this

Clancy Denton (23:26)
Here, I'll say this, when you go to the Olympics, you want to get, if you don't do well the first time, you hope you get to come back and do better the next time.

Rick Denton (23:33)
That's true. None of us got removed from the Olympics this time to your point earlier. that's it. Dreaming about the future world record. Would you say that that is the same award that you would give yourself now?

Clancy Denton (23:53)
This one is hard for me to answer because.

I feel like we're in it almost. I don't know how to explain it.

We were, at that time...

No, we hadn't even thought about writing a book. And we hadn't even thought about making this podcast really anything more than just-

Rick Denton (24:23)
or the new

one. not?

Clancy Denton (24:28)
And so I don't know that we really discussed that then. Now we have this.

thing. And yes, we do talk about where we would like for it to go. I just feel like before dreaming about the future, we're like, where do we want to live? Where do we want to travel? Where do we want to that kind of thing? Whereas now I feel like you want to do this? Yes, let's do this instead of thinking about it in five, 10 years down the road.

Rick Denton (25:06)
get what you're saying, especially on the first part of it, that because we're in the middle of something really big that our... You know how when you're focused on something, your peripheral vision kind of comes in? That's what I'm visualizing here is that because we're so focused on this, that our peripheral vision has come in. And I would say that while we may have world record in the past, I don't know that we do as much about this. I even think like some of the things that you talked about, talk about...

⁓ not constraining, but bringing that vision in a little bit. Some of the things that were more wide open through the choices of others, and specifically, I'm speaking of our children, and the fact that we want to live near where our children choose to live, well, that has started to come into greater focus, and therefore, it's not as wide open of the choices that we could potentially dream about. It doesn't look like that our children are going to set up.

in Florence and therefore we aren't going to get the villa in Tuscany.

Clancy Denton (26:11)
Not permanently, no. But it is very interesting that you bring up the children because what I have found myself doing, and I think you as well, is we are thinking about their futures a lot more than our own.

Rick Denton (26:30)
So are we guilty of doing what we were doing before the empty nest and that is focused on our kids because they were in the nest? Are we now in the empty nest focusing on them? When we think about the

Clancy Denton (26:43)
You

know what though, back then I think it was more done

not scared, but with unknown. Now it's a little more tangible, I feel like, some of their future decisions. And so it's exciting. Like, it's fun to think about Teagan's gonna be in grad school. She's gonna be graduating in December, and then where's she gonna go to grad school? Ooh, let's go look at places here, and let's go look at places here. know, what's...

Tanner, he's going to be graduating from law school and what's in store for it. So it's fun thinking about their future because I remember being that age and being in the stage that they are and being so excited about... At Tanner's age, you and I were already in our relationship and headed towards...

getting engaged marriage. And so I just, it's fun to put yourself back in that place. So I feel like I'm kind of, and where do we fit into that? You know, it's just.

Rick Denton (28:00)
Okay, I see that. And that part, I think that's actually good and fine and fun, because we do. We're rooting for our kids, we're supporting them, we want that excitement. The fact that we're talking about this and realizing that we aren't dreaming as much about our way out there future is something that is, so let's say it's bronze, it's so, you we're no longer world-recording, and maybe that's something that we need to get back to.

of really thinking about what does that what's next and there's some ⁓

Clancy Denton (28:30)
And

I think there are things, because I know certain things that yes, we do have in our goals in future. I think a lot of it is business related. Exactly.

life dream related.

Rick Denton (28:55)
And some of that is logical because we are so in this together type thing and yet even this will fade away from a business perspective at some point.

Clancy Denton (29:06)
Yeah, plus I feel like we're getting to do a lot of the life dreams that we set out to do.

Rick Denton (29:13)
And that's because we set those out. so to make sure that we're doing the ones that we're thinking about in the future, re-dreaming. Plus I love this. love, even if it never comes about, I make the same joke over and over that probably makes you eye roll, but the whole villa in Tuscany, I don't know whether we're going to end up and do something like that or not, but it's fun to dream. Like that's the fun part of it. And I really enjoy that just kind of kicking back and imagining what if, and I think

calling this event back to mind reminds me, yeah, maybe we need a little more what-ifs. All right. So there they are, maintaining and making friends, discovering new hobbies, planning dates and trips, communicating with each other, and dreaming about the future. What do y'all say are your medals? How would you rank yourselves? Is this a gold medal? Is it a bronze? Are you going to get disqualified by the judge?

Clancy Denton (29:48)
Yeah.

Rick Denton (30:12)
What does it look like? It'd be great if y'all would share that inside of the Facebook community. And it would be awesome to see what everyone else is ranking themselves in their Olympic events as well. And that is over at theloudquiet.com. There's a button right there at the top. You'll be able to connect right into the community there.

Clancy Denton (30:29)
Yeah, we will be posting on the community about the live event coming up on March 4th. Can't wait to see y'all there and thanks again for joining us on another episode of The Loud Quiet.